Twenty-four years ago I bet you don’t remember your first cry, you don’t even remember your first laugh or when you first tasted your soft food, or when you first ate your first full meal, or the feeling when you first stepped your feet on the ground, or the first reason that made you cry.
Yes! That was all stored in the midst of your memory box, untouched and unremembered but that is part of who you are today. You’ve been through a lot, and I witness you through your highs and lows and so much more.
You’ve grown into the person God wants you to be.
From your innocent childhood, that little kid inside of you who always wanted to give the best to the world, the little person who’s living inside your soul who wanted to brought smile to everyone and to that heart that pours everything from happiness to sadness, everything.
And now you became the genuine and fragile human being who just wanted to see all the good things of the world. Your path would never be easy but there is no other person who could travel that journey but You.
You who was brave enough to laugh despite of pain, you who pour those tears fearlessly though everyone’s eye is on you. You, who became so creative and spontaneous to live the life despite all the challenges. The laughter you shared with your friends and to the world, your unending stories, how you crumpled your sleeves because of happiness and how you grieve on bad happenings, how you became stubborn and how you became brave.
It was not easy but it is always a worth travelling journey.
You are brave to surrender the most precious day of your life twenty-four years ago so that it could be celebrated as your father’s death anniversary. You may forget this day as your birth day, but you are courageous to still wake up and celebrate this day even though it’ll give your heart a million stabbed. I’ve seen how you wake up on a random day feeling sorry and helpless, but you still choose live that day up until now.
I know, no time and place could take away all those pain, but I just want to commend you for always being still.
I know you are brave, You are brave to felt all those pains even though you only want to love and be loved in return. You are brave showing love to every mankind even if you don’t received anything at all. I am proud of how you console somebody’s heart with your most genuine words even if it is also the words you wanted to hear when you cry at night. I admire you on how you can hugged and ease all the burdens of other people even if there is also a larger battle within your heart. I admire your capacity to understand eventhough other people can’t do the same with your rants and your issues.I commend your heart being strong from all the failed and almost relationships, those unsend goodbye’s and those unsaid I love you’s. Those what if’s and those unclosed chapters. How you dare to shut that up even though you still want to give it a try. I admire you, of how you still believe on true love and destiny even your own heart got shattered and heartbroken many times and even there are millions of infidelity on this world. I am proud of how you still wanted to continue life even though anxieties and pressure are always resting on your shoulders, I know it is always a heavy battle on the inside but you always chooses to keep calm. I admire your patience towards people and situations.
I know it wasn’t easy living your life undefined, waking up in the morning clueless on what would happened on the entire day and unprepared of what tomorrow can offer but you still choose to continue your life.
I admire your authenticity with all your words, I admire your positive energy and your capability to know when to stop and be still for a while, to rest and regain your energy and to taste your words before you spit them out. Your sleepless nights became worth it, what ever happens in your life, it is only for you.
I admire how you think about great things, your unending dreams even seems your plans never happened your way. Those bullet dreams in your planner that you want to achieve in the future, the dreams you made inside your head and the countless bucketlist you want to do on your lifetime. All of that may seem surreal but I know you’ll make it on time. I admire your capacity to dream big though your world seems broken.
On your twenty-fourth I’ll tell you, you did great, I know you’re looking yourself as a failure you though that you’re a hundred steps behind of those people you admire but you are not, you have your own footprint, you have your own impact in this world, your own path, your own journey it always seems a slow progress but always look on the brighter side of your journey. Learn and absorb all the knowledge, trust your process, the important thing to remember here is that you have the awareness that you are growing and being stenghtened at this season. You were put in that kind of situation for a reason.
Your journey will never finished on your twenty-fourth, there is still a lot on your way, a larger battle and a larger road to take, every tomorrow is a new beginning and I hope you keep going up until the moment you don’t feel the pressure on your shoulders anymore and all your mornings tastes like a fresh new beginnings. Just always bring your heart on your sleeves, your life lessons in your pocket and His words in your soul. Because you deserve so much more, you deserve all the happiness you throw in these world. You deserved to celebrate your life each morning. You deserve the smile you gave to the world and you deserve to live a life that was given to you.